Established
Nov. 18, 1978

Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians And Gays - Phoenix Chapter.  Proudly serving the entire Valley of the Sun...and beyond!

 

Just For Laughs . . .

 

Because sometimes, you just need to lighten up a bit!!!

 

A Laugh A Day Keeps the Bad Guys Away . . . (we wish!)

 

From Joe Solmonese, President of the Human Rights Campaign:

"On a lighter note, this week I appeared on the Colbert Report for the new segment "Better Know a Lobbyist." I had such a great time bantering with Stephen about the movement for GLBT equality and I am so pleased with how the piece turned out. It aired on two consecutive evenings, but if you missed it, you can watch the clips at:

(Note from your PFLAG Phoenix webmaster:  These two video clips are definitely worthwhile.  Each runs about 5 minutes.  Sit back and prepare to laugh!)

 

 

Beware the Gravy Ladle!

 

Dan invited his mother over for dinner.  During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how handsome Dan's roommate was.  She had long been suspicious of Dan's sexuality and this only made her more curious.  Over the course of the evening, while watching the two men interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Dan and the roommate than met the eye.  Reading his mother's thoughts, Dan volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Mike and I are just roommates."

 

About a week later, Mike came to Dan and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle.  You don't suppose she took it, do you?"  Dan said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."  So, he sat down and wrote:

Dear Mother,

 I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle.  But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, Dan

Several days later, Dan received a letter from his mother which read:

Dear Son,

 I'm not saying you 'do' sleep with Mike, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Mike.  But the fact remains that if Mike was sleeping in his own bed, he would have found the gravy ladle by now.

Love, Mom

 

Nun-Sense

 

A cabbie picks up a Nun.  She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.  She asks him why he is staring.  He replies:  "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you"


She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me.  When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything.  I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

 

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."


She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that:  #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic."


The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!

 

"OK" the nun says.  "Pull into the next alley."  The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.  But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.  "My dear child," said the nun, "why are you crying?"

 

"Forgive me but I've sinned.  I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish." 

 

The nun says, "That's OK.  My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party."

 

 

Bragging Rights:  Four Proud Fathers

 

Four men went golfing one day. Three of them headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill. The three men started talking and bragging about their sons.

 

The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder, and he is so successful that he gave a friend a new home for free."

 

The second man said, "My son was a car salesman, and now he owns a multi-line dealership.  He's so successful that he gave a friend a new Mercedes, fully loaded."

 

The third man, not wanting to be outdone, bragged, "My son is a stockbroker, and he's doing so well that he gave his friend an entire portfolio."

 

The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking care of business.  The first man mentioned, "We are just talking about our sons.  How is yours doing?"

 

The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay and dances in a gay bar."  The other three men grew silent as he continued.  "I'm not totally thrilled about the dancing job, but he must be doing good.  His last three boyfriends gave him a house, a brand new Mercedes, and a stock portfolio."

 

 

The Princess Gets Grounded . . .

 

The plane's cabin was being served by a very gay flight attendant who was just as obviously enjoying himself.  He came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, lovely people.  So if you could just put up your trays that would be super." 

 

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a woman hadn't moved a muscle.  "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines.  I asked you to raise your trazy-poo so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground." 

 

She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess.  I take orders from no one." 

 

To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you.  Put the tray up, Bitch."

 

 

"Be Strong!"

 

An escaped convict, imprisoned for 1st degree murder, had spent 25 years of his life sentence in prison.  While on the run, he broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom.  He tied the man to a chair on one side of the room and his wife on the bed.

 

He got on the bed right over the woman, and it appeared he was kissing her neck.  Suddenly he got up and left the room.

 

As soon as possible the husband  made his way across the room to his bride, his chair in tow and whispered,  "Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years.  I saw him kissing you on your neck and then he left in a hurry.  Just cooperate and do anything he wants.  If he wants to have sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it.  Whatever you do, don't fight him or make him mad.  Our lives depend on it!.  Be strong and I love you."

 

After spitting out the gag in her mouth, the half naked wife says:  "Dear, I'm so relieved you feel that way. You're right, he hasn't seen a woman in years, but he wasn't kissing my neck....He was whispering in my ear.  He said he thinks you're really cute and asked if we kept the Vaseline in the bathroom.  Be strong and I love you too."

 

 

Check back again as our list of "laughs" continues to grow!  Got a funny one to share?  Send it to us!